✿＊   may '26

still working on stagnant's overhaul. it's taking forever! i haven't felt like coding, to be honest. i know i don't owe anyone anything, but i'd like to get something done, you know? i have the vision, i just need to put it on paper. for now, the minimalistic layout for this site helps me clear my head, so i'll be loitering here until i get another spark.

i bought a display tablet a few days ago. i've used a wacom intuos S for a couple of years now, and i figured i could treat myself and get an upgrade. i ended up getting xp pen's artist 12 3rd gen. it's my first time using a tablet with a display, but it's so much more comfortable. they're a lot more expensive than i expected... i'd like to say the investment was worth it, though. wacom's prices, on the other hand, are insane.

i used buyee and bought volumes 1-5 of ai yazawa's paradise kiss! it's in japanese, but i don't really mind. i'm not fussed about being unable to read them since i already have the 20th anniversary edition. i just wanted them for the sake of collecting! the english version is hard to find since it's out of print. i saw a listing on eBay in the past; it was over £100... no thanks. i also bought a couple of CDs -- they'll be arriving sometime in june. i'm most excited for the BECK OST CDs i found. the set was listed for 2900 YEN, which is about £14. what a steal?! i know i could burn my own for much cheaper, but i'd prefer having the real thing.

other than that, my oral health anxiety has been through the roof. my wisdom teeth are coming through, and the fact it feels like i've been sucker-punched in the jaw isn't helping. bruxism at its finest.

out of all of the bands and artists i've listened to this month, it's safe to say i've been obsessed with title fight. i'll let this spike speak for itself. floral green was always a personal favourite of mine, but i'm quite annoyed with how i've disregarded spring songs and hyperview up until now -- such lovely releases that were right in front of me!

apart from title fight, i listened to a lot of ichiko aoba. i love the live versions of her songs, especially the ones from her 15th anniversary concert. i think some of them sound even better than the original studio versions... sue me. i usually put her on while reading, but i've had to stop myself from doing so because sooner or later i'll end up falling asleep.

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i've finally gotten around to watching movies on my watchlist. a few notable watches include:

• medianeras / sidewalls (2011), gustavo taretto
• la pianiste / the piano teacher (2001), michael haneke
• naked (1993), mike leigh
• scenes from a marriage (1974), ingmar bergman
• vivre sa vie / my life to live (1962), jean-luc godard

my favourite of the bunch was the piano teacher. it's literally consumed my mind. i'm glad michael haneke is a total freak of nature. his style of directing gives me the same kind of dread you'd get while waiting in an empty, sterile hospital waiting room -- just a perpetual feeling of doom. i'll be sure to check his other films. i'd write a detailed review here, but i'm already in the midst of writing an entry about my thoughts on it.

my least favourite would have to be naked. it was okay-ish. i wouldn't say i enjoyed it, but i wouldn't say i hated it. i still stick by what i said in my media log:

"i don't know how to rate this, so i'll be sticking with 2.5 stars for the acting and cinematography alone. david thewlis was great and the gritty settings were perfect for the story. it was just a total drag (purposefully) to get through, and i have mixed feelings about it."

"absolutely everybody pissed me off. johnny is an insufferable, despicable asshole. each time he went on his philosophical rambles, my patience grew thinner and thinner. don't get me started with jeremy. he's a living, breathing sack of shit. i'm glad the film didn't do anything in an attempt to excuse johnny's actions, but i'll always feel iffy about the subject matter. the rape scenes were graphic and there were way too many for my liking. i wish it was handled with more tact, but i guess that was the point - to be raw and abrasive and vile."

in hindsight, i 100% missed the point of the story... loling. i was too frustrated with how he got on and how the women around him were treated that it made my viewing experience close to intolerable. he might be the greatest self-sabotager i've ever seen.